Grace

`Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need` Hebrews 4:16

The last few years I`ve really struggled with my sin. I`ve fallen so far away from the Lord. I know he is right there as he always is, but I`ve put him to the side like an old rag. Ive basically been acting as if Jesus didnt die for my sins, and that I dont owe him anything. Even though....I owe him my life. I want to owe Jesus my life, I mean, he saved me from my sins. Its my strong desire to let go of my earthly nature and run into the arms of my Father. I want to go to the throne of grace, and grab hold of that mercy that God has for me.

I hold back though, why do I hold back? Why do I avoid the very thing that will complete me, the thing that will make my life worth living?
God is so consistant in talking to me. The one message that I have always gotten loud and clear is GRACE. Total grace, regardless of what Ive done, he is still willing to offer me a life with Him for eternity. I know grace, I feel it all the time. But I hold back from receiving it, I feel unworthy of such an amazing gift. I havent done anything to earn it, but I guess thats what grace is, a gift that we have done nothing to earn.

So I guess what I want to know is how do I completly let go of myself and put my trust in the Lord? How do I come boldly to the throne of grace so that i may obtain His mercy and grace?